Rearview Mirror

With the new year only hours away, here are some highlights (in no particular order) from the presently fading 2008:

• Going to the movies with Leslie & the kids.
• Taking our annual trip to Banff for my mom's birthday. This time, in addition to sitting in the hot springs, we rode the Gondola.
• Retreat at Kananaskis. Great time with the Pearce's & Sabourin's & playing hockey on the outdoor rink.
• Me & the kids skated several afternoons in January & February on a little frozen pond a couple of neighbourhoods over.
• Monster Jam with the fam.
• My six month Partner stint with Starbucks.
• A trek to Hamilton & spending some time with the Goodyear clan.
• Watching Jake play soccer and seeing him score!
• A life changing weekend spent with new friends at Foundations.
• As I Lay Dying w/Berk & Eric at Mac Hall.
• Camping in Kananaskis on the May long weekend (first time we've gotten to camp on that date).
• Spending the weekend with Jason, Sarah & Abigail - love these guys & their friendship!
• Phil & Amanda's wedding. It's that much more sweet when Leslie & I get to do the ceremony of people we know & love.
• We got to a few Stamps games - Jake, Joel, Berk, Graham, Darcy & moi.
• Stamps win the Grey Cup!
• Jake, Joel, Berkley, Graham & myself become proud 08-09 Stamps season ticket holders - that means, we're going to the Grey Cup!
• Camping in Kananaskis with our buds, the Sheas! Gotta plan to do it again this summer!
• Camping in Montana, USA - good time of exploring across the border!
• Milllarville Market with the kids - both in the summer & during Christmas season.
• Seeing Joel receive Most Dedicated Player Award for his work last season in hockey.
• Seeing Joel receive Hardest Worker Award following his week at Dinos Hockey Camp. That award earned him a composite stick from Dinos Hockey. Not too shabby!
• Annual trek to the tat show with Berkley & Jake.
• Spending a few days catching up with Mike during his visit to cowtown.
• Metallica at the dome - unbefreakinglievable!
• Turkey Bowl '08 - had a good game & reconnected with some old friends.
• Avs vs. Flames w/Berkley - I love the atmosphere at Flames games.
• Advent activities with Les & the kids.
• Seeing Cinderella with the fam at Storybook Theatre.
• Watching Julia perform her speaking part during the school Christmas/Winter Concert.
• Getting our puppy - Brutus ("the barber" Beefcake), affectionately known as "Brunacious B"
• Leslie's mom getting married & Grandpa Max becoming part of our family. We had a great visit with them in the spring.

Our family cultivated deeper relationships this past year as we began a smaller, more intimate faith journey with good (becoming greater) friends. You guys have been a blessing to our family and we are extremely grateful for your love & friendship - back at you! I love watching our kids play together like adopted siblings. The birth of Sydney Bell into our group is a highlight all on its own!

Movies I saw & enjoyed:

• Bee Movie
• Be Kind, Rewind
• The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
• Kung Fu Panda
• Bedtime Stories
• Saw series (though not all released this past year)
• Horton Hears a Who!
• 21
• Iron Man
• Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Skull
• Forgetting Sarah Marshall
• The Incredible Hulk
• Get Smart
• Hellboy 2: The Golden Army
• You Don't Mess with The Zohan
• Drillbit Taylor
• Tropic Thunder

Fav downloads of 2008:

• Metallica - Death Magnetic
• AC/DC - Black Ice
• Guns N' Roses - Chinese Democracy
• Disturbed - Indestructible
• Brian "Head" Welch - Save Me From Myself
• Scars On Broadway
• P.O.D. - When Angels & Serpents Dance
• The Black Crowes - Warpaint

Fav books read in 2008:

• This Beautiful Mess - Rick Mckinley
• The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - C.S. Lewis
• Save Me From Myself - Brian "Head" Welch
• Wide Open Spaces - Jim Palmer
• Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows - J.K. Rowling
• Pagan Christianity - Frank Viola & George Barna
• The Shack - William Young

Thanks God for all the blessings of 2008 - the ones named, the ones unnamed & the ones I misunderstood at the time as a pain in the ass. Parts of 2008 I wished away. Forgive me for not living in the moment as I should have. I want to live more heartily the moments of 2009 that you give me.

Merry Christmas!

I'm working today, on Christmas day, for the first time since I was 17 years old. Back then it was 1989, I was a young pup in love, about to leave home & washing dishes at an Irving Big Stop Restaurant.

Times have changed. I really didn't want to leave the fam to come downtown to work today. I feel like I'm hungover. Joel said he'd get up early. We sent him back to bed at 4 am. They did well to wait until 6 am.

We had a great advent time together this season. We decided to look forward to the celebrated birth of Jesus by way of a daily family activity.

We were in a pinch for time, so Leslie picked up an advent calendar from Starbucks. I put together a list of family activities that Leslie & the kids each chose 5 things to do & I chose the reamaining 4. Our 24 activities from the list are as follows (beginning on December 1 & wrapping up last night on Christmas Eve):

1. Color a Christmas picture
2. Make sugar cookies
3. Walk the dog together
4. Have a bubble bath (individually of course)
5. Make a gingerbread house
6. Paint wooden ornaments for the Christmas tree
7. Go bowling
8. Make hot chocolate with all the fixins'
9. Have a chocolate fondue night
10. Put candy canes on the Christmas tree
11. Volunteer at the Toy Warehouse (The Salvation Army)
12. Campout around the Christmas tree
13. Fancy dress up for dinner
14. Dollar store gift exchange (each person given $5 to spend on the other four family members, then we go home & exchange gifts)
15. Make it snow in the house by making snowflakes and hanging them from the ceiling
16. Paint each other's fingernails & toenails in Christmas colors
17. Go out for ice cream
18. Make a Christmas ornament
19. Make a hideout and hangout with flashlights
20. Have a picnic at Elbow Falls
21. Give each other crazy hairstyles
22. Tell a round robin story
23. Put together a Christmas or winter scene puzzle
24. Read "Twas The Night Before Christmas" & put out egg nog & cookies

We truly had a blast together!

We did everything on the list with the exception of three things that were put on hold because of the weather. On the day of our snow storm we had to postpone going bowling; our dog didn't get walked & our picnic at Elbow Falls were both put on hold because of the negative temperature lately.

Next year I hope to put each of the activities in a decorated matchbox, each individually wrapped like a small gift (that is, if we can find the small matchboxes - otherwise, I better get crackin' on consuming Altoids!).

My Lady

It was Leslie's birthday this weekend too - yesterday!

Me & the kids got her greeting up on the board at the Hitmen game that we attended with Joel's team. I was slow on the draw and missed her name but got the rest of the message before it scrolled away.

I love you Les - you're a beauty!

I love your smile, laugh & sincerity.

Jake's 11th Birthday

The J-man, Jake-ola is 11 today! Happy Birthday big guy!

We had a sleepover party with his friends last Friday. Tonight we are camping out around the Christmas tree and watching his baby videos (while drinking hot choco with all the fixins'!).

Shuffle

Music is a big part of my life. My kids, especially Jake, has this same love within him.

I have the coolest kids! Jake had a birthday party/sleepover on Friday. When his mom asked him to go pick out a CD for background music he came back with Nirvana - Nevermind. Julia was sitting in the kitchen with me. When the second song came on she looked at me and said, "I know what this song is." I said, "What?" She said, "In Bloom." That's my girl!

Today, I'm at the office and shuffling my ipod. It's good to hit shuffle when you just cannot decide what to listen to. I've heard some goodies I haven't heard in a while:

Always There For You - Michael Sweet
New York, New York - Frank Sinatra
My Promise - Tourniquet
Lickin' - The Black Crowes
A Little Sleep - Deliverance
Lay it Down - Ratt
The Best is Yet to Come - Frank Sinatra
Out Tonight - Rent Soundtrack (Sorry Les, couldn't take this one and had to skip it - not a fan)
Walking on the Moom - The Police
Dare You to Move - Switchfoot
Friend of a Friend - Foo Fighters
Narrow Daylight - Diana Krall
Goin' Home Tonight - White Lion

What music has been ringing in your ears lately?

Metallica Setlist - Calgary, Dec. 4th,'08

Metallica is unbelievable! Their live sound is amazing! I was blown away & am speechless!

1. That Was Just Your Life
2. The End Of The Line
3. Creeping Death
4. Harvester of Sorrow
5. One
6. Broken, Beat and Scarred
7. Cyanide
8. Sad But True
9. ...And Justice For All
10. Wherever I May Roam
11. The Day That Never Comes
12. Master Of Puppets
13. Fight Fire With Fire
14. Nothing Else Matters
15. Enter Sandman

Encore:
16. Last Caress/Green Hell (Misfits cover)
17. Breadfan (Budgie cover)
18. Seek and Destroy

Life is worth the effort

I came across this prayer today:

Dear Lord,

So far today, I am doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self-indulgent. I have not whined, cursed, or eaten any chocolate.

However, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes, and I will need a lot more help after that. Amen.

Alive

I was reading Jim's blog the other day & he asked the following question:

When is it that you feel most alive-most free, most at peace, most connected, most content, most alive? Please don’t look upon your answer with judgment. It doesn’t have to be any sort of “religious” or “spiritual” answer. Describe a recent moment or experience when you truly felt alive. You don’t even have to understand why it is these deep feelings were stimulated within you. Don’t analyze it. Just tell when you felt it deep inside.

This week there have been several moments:

• watching from the bench & getting to coach Joel at his game this week - I usually coach the defense but this time I was with the forwards
• coloring Xmas pics & decorating sugar cookies with Leslie & the kids
• chatting with Leslie while she made spicy peanut brittle
• spending some time at my kid's bedside tucking them in - rustling my fingers in their hair & kissing their forehead
• having dinner with my friends, watching our kids play and sharing advent together
• a good cup of coffee

God is in those moments - more than feeling it, I know it deep in my heart & it brings me great joy & contentment.

And you... ..when do you feel most alive?

Indestructible

Really wish I were going tonite but...

..I get METALLICA tomorrow night!!!

Larry, Curly & Moe

The Stooges plan to take down the Conservative government. Morons!

Where is the democracy?
What does that say to young voters who can't be bothered because they don't think it means anything?

Cello - if this mutiny happens it will be sealed in the minds of all voters that there is no point in voting because politicians will do what they want anyway.

Truth is, I didn't vote Conservative and am ashamed this morning that the party I voted for is acting in this way.

On another note, you will soon try to visit this site and it will not be available. I had toyed with Nov. 30/08 (2 years from this present blogs start date) but find myself with a little more time to play with.

Santa Shuffle

On Saturday, December 6, 2008, close to 10,000 Canadians will participate in The Salvation Army’s 18th annual Santa Shuffle.

In 35 cities across Canada, festively attired runners and shufflers will run/walk 5k or 1k to raise funds that assist those in need during the Christmas season.

Proceeds from this family-fun event will also benefit The Salvation Army’s vital services and programs as we help support vulnerable people year-round.

Find the run closest to you!

Who is Jesus to You?

"I think one of our problems is that we forget to ask ourselves this question when we set out to start churches. The consequence is weak churches. We speak more about our church "style" and "model" than about the Lord of lords who reigns within it. We tell people why our church is different from or better than other churches in town, thinking they will be attracted to it, but instead they are uninterested. If only we return to our first love and let Jesus be our focus, then many will be drawn in. They will be compelled to gain Christ rather than attend a religious service."

~Neil Cole

The Gift of the Present

I watched Kung Fu Panda with my kids last weekend. I love the movie (okay, I'm a huge Jack Black fan)!

This line from Oogway (cheesy but true) really grabbed me:

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift; that's why it's called the present."

How many of us truly live the gift of the moment that God has given to us?

Are you stuck in the "if onlys" & "should haves" of past pain and regret?

Are you salivating over the greener grass of a future mirage?

"Today the heart of God is an open wound of love. He aches over our distance and preoccupation... ..He weeps over our obsession with muchness and manyness. He longs for our presence." ~ Richard Foster

We can become so preoccupied with regrets of the past and fears of the future that our relationship with God in the present takes a back seat.

Who of us haven't wondered at times where God is, yet, Richard Foster reminds us that God is more present than we are - He longs for our presence with Him!

Relationship happens in the present moment - it's all we have.

If we don't seize the present moment relationships suffer. God seems distant and unapproachable. The fire of romance fades because we obsess over other things - our minds and ourselves are elsewhere. Our kid's grow up in a blink while our focus is stolen away by the less than important issues.

Let's not fool ourselves into thinking that it goes unoticed. God knows. Those around us and close to us notice. And yes, our kids are aware as well.

We must learn to live in the present moment - it truly is all we have!

The Lifebuilder's Creed

Today is the most important day of my life.
Yesterday with its successes and victories, struggles and failures
is gone forever.
The past is past.
Done.
Finished.
I cannot relive it. I cannot go back and change it.
but I will learn from it and improve my Today.
Today. This moment. NOW.
It is God's gift to me and it is all that I have.
Tomorrow with all its joys and sorrows, triumphs and
troubles isn't here yet.
Indeed, tomorrow may never come.
Therefore, I will not worry about tomorrow.
Today is what God has entrusted to me.
It is all that I have. I will do my best in it.
I will demomstrate the best of me in it--
My character, giftedness, and abilities--
to my family and friends, clients and associates.
I will identify those things that are most important
to do Today,
and those things I will do until they are done.
And when this day is done
I will look back with satisfaction at that
which I have accomplished.
Then, and only then, will I plan my tomorrow,
Looking to improve upon Today, with God's help.
Then I shall go to sleep in peace...content.

~ Dale Witherington

The Party

The beautiful birthday girl!

Leslie did a great job on Julia's cake & party - she is amazing!

The ceremonial lighting & blowing out of the candles!

Julia placed a bow on her head - she's the real gift!

The girls!

Seven Today!

Julia could hardly contain herself last night - she wanted to go to bed early so that she could wake up and be seven years old!

Happy Birthday sweetie pie! Have a great party tomorrow!

Intimacy is born of Struggle

M. Scott Peck in his book The Road Less Traveled opens with the words "Life is difficult."

So many of us expect, and want to believe, life is easy. It's not. When we discover it isn't easy we're tempted to toss in the towel. We buy into the myth that if something is difficult it is impossible and not worth the effort.

M. Scott Peck continues, "Most do not fully see this truth that life is difficult. Instead they moan more or less incessantly... ..about the enormity of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulites as if life were generally easy, as if life should be easy."

We often flip that belief to our spiritual life.

Brennan Manning in The Ragamuffin Gospel says, "There is a myth flousihing in the church today that has caused incalulable harm--once converted, fully converted. In other words, once I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, an irreversible, sinless future beckons. Discipleship will be an untarnished success story; life will be an unbroken upward spiral toward holiness."

Life is difficult whether we have a spiritual faith and practice or not.

Personally, I struggle. I don't live in struggle as a constant but life has not always been, nor do I expect it to be, all roses for me. Some of the things I've struggled with all my life are still knocking on my back door. I've asked that they be taken away. Some things have been taken away. Others I remain with and I suspect I will til I draw my last breath. Thoughts. Temptations. All seeking to be born into action.

Can I say that I'm okay with the struggle?
Can I say that God's love & presence are enough for me?
Can you?

It may or may not get any easier than this.

Tim King and Frank Martin in their book Furious Pursuit say, "Struggle is what engages us in our relationship with God. He looks for our willingness to remain in the struggle, to continue walking with him, fighting to grasp him, resisting the temptation to give in to our human nature, refusing to give up no matter how hard life gets. It is only through struggle that God lifts us up into (His) larger Story."

Intimacy is born of struggle.

Shedding

I've been thinking about shedding lately.

Maybe it's because my black coat has a bunch of white hair from my black cat on it (go figure).

Or maybe the thought combo of Bruxy Cavey & Jim Palmer lines is floating around in my head. Mix that with my own thoughts and you have a triple shot of espresso in a short cup (no water).

Or maybe it has more to do with Robert Frost's line "You live by shedding."

To purge or not to purge?

I was asked recently what I thought of purging and/or purging services (sorry Pam, I realize I didn't get back to you on that - oops! - and this probably isn't what you're looking for).

"You live by shedding." Truly live, like abundant life living, as Jesus puts it?

Quite possibly if the shedding is about purging one's system of useless and binding systems, beliefs & rituals.

To purge or not to purge religion?
To purge or not to purge church (as systematic & constructed (constricting!))?
To purge or not to purge useless history?
To purge or not to purge this post!?!

Here's a thought I'm sharing with the guys tonight:

"Our history is not our destiny." There is freedom in that statement. Sure, our history can inform us but it doesn't need to handcuff us.

I'm aspiring to be someone more than who I presently am. I don't have it all together so I keep purging the crap. As Paul said, "forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead."

Jesus is calling me toward a heavenly prize that is a life free of the gunk.

Image of the Invisible

The more we let the events of Christ's life inform and form us, the more we will be able to connect our own daily stories with the great story of God's presence in our lives.

~Henri Nouwen

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

(Ephesians 5:1 & 2)

JESUS, I AM THE BELOVED

From the moment we claim the truth of being the Beloved, we are faced with the call to become who we are... ..Becoming the Beloved means letting the truth of our Belovedness become enfleshed in everything we think, say or do.

~Henri Nouwen

Good Night!

Just got back from a run in our first flurries of the season! Me & the kids have been waiting for this for a while. Julia asked if she'd be able to go sledding tomorrow - unfortunately there is barely enough to cover the grass. Hopefully we'll be sledding soon!

I came inside just in time to see Barack Obama's victory speech! I'm happy for his family & for our southern sister. Here's hoping he can right the wrongs of the Bush administration.

post:Week[end]Update

Went to the Saddledome last week to see the Flames shutout the Avs (sorry Berkley, it was a good time despite your teams loss - thanks for the tix!)!

Got my 'Assistant Coach' jacket from Joel's hockey team (I'm now official)!

After two months of collecting 700+ pairs of boots from Mark's Work Wearhouse, I spearheaded the boot giveaway this week. Along with a bunch of other agencies, we gave away more than 700 pairs of winter boots/work boots to those with low to no income. Thanks Mark's!

Picked up Black Ice (Kirk & Sheldon, it kicks ass)!

Halloween was a blast! I can't remember a Halloween night (going all the way back to my childhood) where it was as warm as it was here last Friday night. The whole neighbourhood was alive with kids & parents haunting about. Sidenote: A big boo to the TO school board & their attempt at political correctness & non offensiveness by renaming Halloween "black & orange day". Nothin' better to do guys? That's pathetic!

Joel & I got up at 6 am this morning to hit the ice before school. One of the parents of a teammate rents the ice on Monday mornings for his kid to get a little more skating time. He's been inviting us out; we've gone twice, just 5 of us on the ice - good times!

Both a busy & a big week for me - glad it's here, glad it's begun, looking forward to the end of the week without wishing away time!

Leslie & I rented SAW this weekend. I was really interested in seeing the series upon hearing about Koules charitable mask idea with the Bolts. I must say, neither of us was disappointed. I really liked the first movie (so much so that I couldn't wait to see part two & rented it last night).

Another sidenote: It was weird to look outside last night at 6:15 p.m. & see that it was dark. That kinda killed my mood. It was really weird.

Happy Halloween

Known, Accepted & Loved

Every day we live with a great irony: we have an unending desire to be accepted, yet, on the other hand, we're afraid to be completely & intimately known.

If you've seen The Mask, you will know that Jim Carrey's character hides behind a literal mask that accentuates certain character traits that seem to make him more appealing to the girl of his dreams. At one point in the movie he struggles with whether he should meet her as himself or the mask. His dilemma is that he is not confident his dream girl will like him if she really knew him.

Aren't we like that?

Many of us carry feelings of inadequacy and shame & have convinced ourselves of the need to hide; to project certain images of ourselves that we falsely believe are more acceptable.

When we hide behind a mask, the relationships we share are less real - we are robbed of knowing we are not alone; there are others like us.

As a result, many of us carry around the lie that we're worse than the next person (don't hear what I'm not saying - we're not better than the next person either - just much more alike than we think).

To some degree, if we feel others would reject our "true" selves, then we'll carry doubts about God's acceptance of us as well & this can be devastating.

The truth is we are fully known & accepted by God. Don't miss either of these.

If we were only known by God (as faithless, self absorbed, unloving & sinful people) that would be devastating. However, God knows us (knows all about us) & still He accepts us just as we are, for who we are!

Does it get any better than this!?!

Psalm 139:1
O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.

**Further working out of these thoughts in Furious Pursuit

Tonight's the Night

...it's gotta be...I'm hoping it is.

Despite being on the road,
against arch rival NJ,
with Brodeur going for records..

..I'm predicting the Flyers will win!

Up goes the flag!

Chinese Democracy

When I heard this on the radio today...

Arguably one of the best rock n roll bands to date.

Axl being, in my opinion, the best frontman ever.

Geez, if you put the original line up together, in the very least, they'd be considered a supergroup or an all star line up.

Needless to say I'm stoked for the 23rd of November!

Safe Eyes

My oldest son, who is 10, casually shared with my wife & I that his friend is looking at porn on his computer. He said, “Jack told me that he pretends to be asleep when his parents come to his room to tuck him in at night. After they leave he turns on his computer and looks at porn.”

I am amazed every time I hear an example like my son shared of parents who are either unconcerned or unaware as to the various influences competing for residence in their children’s minds.

Americans aged 13 to 18 spend more than 72 hours a week using electronic media—defined as the Internet, cell phones, television, music and video games.
87% of all teens are online.
1 in 7 youths received sexual solicitation online.
Average age of first Internet exposure to pornography is 11 years old.
15-17 year olds having multiple hard-core exposures - 80%
8-16 year olds having viewed porn online - 90% (most while doing homework).
7-17 year olds who would freely give out home address - 29%
7-17 year olds who would freely give out email address - 14%
Children's character names linked to thousands of porn links 26 (Including Pokemon and Action Man).

Source www.xxxchurch.com

I am thankful that our kids can openly speak to us about issues, such as pornography, without shame or concern of getting into trouble. This openness is the result of my wife & I intentionally taking some simple, common sense steps to both protect our family & explain what the protection is about as it pertains to the internet.

The three steps we employ as a family are very basic:

1. We keep our computer in a high traffic area of our home (kitchen/sitting room)
- If our kids run into trouble we are always around to help
- There are no computers in any of the bedrooms, tucked away in any remote part of the house or behind closed doors

2. We use Internet Filtering software called www.safeeyes.com
- It helps our family avoid unsolicited porn traffic
- It protects our family from ending up on sites (whether on purpose or not) that are harmful to their healthy development

3. We have rules for appropriate Internet usage
- Boundaries are helpful especially at the outset and while a family is young so that habits are formed and this becomes the way we relate to the internet as a family
- There are a lot of helpful uses for the internet but even too much of a good thing ceases to be a good thing before too long

Santa Shuffle 2008

Are you running!?!

Shedding Religion

Here is a lengthy post by Jim Palmer. It is well worth the read - read it!

Touching Life Today

As Chaplain at the Centre of Hope it is my responsibility for this month to send a devotion out to all the staff in this building and a couple of others in the city.

Today was my first kick at it. I'll share what I wrote here because I think it's worth sharing (toot, toot - tooting my own horn!).

Hi all,

This is my first go round with these devos, so, first up a snippet about me!

I am the husband of but one wife, Leslie! We met in high school, dated for five years and have been married for just over 14 years. We have three great kids who teach us more about God & life than I'm sure we teach them. I won't mention the dog & cat because I don't include them as members of the fam (despite the fact that my wife does).

Leslie & I are in our twelfth year as full time pastors and are presently planting a house church in our neighbourhood. I'm working at COH full time to alleviate the financial stress on a new church plant while Leslie works part time at Jackson Willan Seniors' Residence for the same reason.

Here's where God is showing up and what He's teaching me this week:

My daughter came home from school on Friday having coloured a turkey for Thanksgiving. The turkey had 4 big feathers hanging from it (I think they were feathers, it wouldn't make sense for the turkey to have 4 big wings!). On each feather Julia had written something she was thankful for.

Here's what she wrote:

• I'm thankful for God because God made me.
• I'm thankful for my family because they love me.
• I'm thankful for my brothers because I love them.
• I'm thankful for Terry Fox because he ran across Canada.

I thought to myself, "Julia gets it!" There isn't one thing on that list that has to do with material possessions. Sure she could have said her Hannah Montana toys or her DS, but she didn't. Each of the things she's thankful for has to do with people & relationships.

A while ago Leslie & I began to stress to our kids the importance of people over things. This was our lead up to Christmas a few years back. With thanksgiving having just passed & Christmas approaching (you know you were thinking about it before I even mentioned it) & especially in daily life - let's put people before things.

I don't know who said it but I once heard it said that we should love people & use things, not use people & love things (hey, that could make it on a Starbucks cup!).

Maybe we could use today to practice putting people before things - I'm going to!

ChickenFoot

I hope beyond hope that this happens...

According to The Pulse of Radio, RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS drummer Chad Smith has joined the new "supergroup" started by former VAN HALEN frontman Sammy Hagar. The band, tentatively called CHICKENFOOT, also features ex-VAN HALEN bassist Michael Anthony and guitar virtuoso Joe Satriani and will enter the studio to begin recording its debut album this summer.

Sincerity of Heart

John has a great article that you can read in full here.

The following is a section from that article:

One of my favourite heroes of the faith is Oscar Romero. Whenever I get too preoccupied with church activities or the politics that come with working for a Christian organization, I take some time to read his words. Romero never fails to strip away all of the unnecessary church nonsense and remind me of the essentials of serving Jesus Christ. In The Violence of Love, Romero says:

Let us not measure the Church by the number of its members

or by its material buildings.

The Church has built many houses of worship,

many seminaries,

many buildings that have been taken from her.

They have been stolen

and turned into libraries

and barracks

and markets

and other things.

That doesn’t matter.

The material walls here will be left behind in history.

What matters is you, the people,

your hearts.

God’s grace giving you God’s truth and life.

Don’t measure yourselves by your numbers.

Measure yourselves by the sincerity of heart

with which you follow the truth and light

of our divine Redeemer.

We need to look beyond our walls and reach out to our communities. If we become too caught up in the activities we plan inside our churches, we will lose sight of the needs outside. And that leads to irrelevance and eventually empty buildings. We exist for the people outside our material walls, not for the personal satisfaction of those inside. What happens inside should prepare us for what could happen outside. When we lose sight of that, our church suffers. And then our community suffers, our nation suffers, and the world suffers.

Oh my my Oh Hell yes Honey put on that party dress

I'm preparing this afternoon to share with the residents where I work.

As I'm preparing I'm focusing on my main point being God is in pursuit of you!

I don't know what they've been up to today but God has been pursuing them all day!

Out of nowhere I'm broadsided by the truth - God has been pursuing me all day today too!

Boom! - A great sense of His presence comes into being!

We all go through seasons in life. Sometimes they each come upon us very quickly. Other times we can be in a season for an extended period.

Spring - everything is exciting, new, growing & fresh.
Summer - life is fun, refreshing, sunlit & soothing.
Fall - challenges present themselves in the form of age, sickness, kids getting older & leaving home or not leaving home.
Winter - we feel shut in and alone trying to keep some warmth in our relationship with God - we struggle & ask questions like "God, where are you - don't you care?"

Bottom line: God pursues us in every season of life!

God created the seasons & He's present in every one of them!

Let the games begin!

The NHL is back for another season starting today!

I pulled out my old mug to power the boys up for tonight (not that I'm superstitious!). This old mug has been supporting the team for sixteen years and has seen better days (& some delish coffee).

Don't Vote

NYC Hankering

Leslie has been talking alot about New York City lately. That talk, along with a post by Jordon, has me in the mood to watch a flic with a whole lotta NYC in it! Any suggestions?

All Aboard?

Institutional churches are a lot like trains. They are going in a certain direction and they will continue in that direction for a good long time even if all hands try to make them stop. As with trains, the options for turning the direction of institutional churches are limited at best. If a switch or siding is available, the train could turn. Otherwise, it just follows its tracks. So everyone aboard had best hope that he is on the right train headed in the right direction.

Organic churches, like those in the New Testament, are different. They are not trains, but groups of people out for a walk. These groups move much more slowly than trains--only several miles per hour at the fastest. But they can turn at a moment's notice. More importantly, they can be genuinely attentive to their world, to their Lord, and to each other.

Like trains, institutional churches are easy to find. The smoke and noise are unmistakable. Organic churches are a bit more subtle. Because they do not announce their presence with flashing lights at every intersection, some believe that churches like those in the New Testament died out long ago. But nothing could be further from the truth. Organic churches are everywhere. I personally have been part of one for more than twenty years. Still, groups like ours are quietly walking together, not bothering to call undue attention to ourselves. We are simply pilgrims together.

Once you learn how to spot an organic church, you will soon discover groups of people everywhere meeting just like the New Testament church--as bodies, families, and bridges, rather than as institutions.

Organic churches are groups of people walking with God. The trains pass them by all the time. Sometimes the people on board wave. Sometimes they cannot because the train is moving so fast that people going a few miles per hour just look like a blur. If you are one of the trains whizzing by, it may be a bit surprising to find out that some of those blurred patches of color outside your window are groups of people walking with God. That thing you just passed was an organic church.

by Hal Miller

Sexual Trafficking

Human Sexual Trafficking is a form of slavery.

Marta’s Story

My name is Marta. I am 17 years old. My dream is to be a Hollywood actress and to live in a mansion. Back home, I saved up money to take an acting class in the city. In the class, a friend showed me an advertisement for a modeling job overseas. He said he had some connections and could get me in. He also said the money was great, and that his cousin got a TV commercial through this job that year. I was so happy. I got my passport and my friend held on to it and organized all of my visa paperwork. It was my first time on a plane. I watched a movie and pictured myself in it. My dreams were coming true.

When we landed, I was tired and confused. We went to a hotel and I was locked in. Two hours later a stranger came in and told me the new arrangements. I would be a nude dancer at this man’s club. Initially I stood up for myself but then I was beaten and he burned me with his cigarette. He showed me a paper with my family’s name and address written on it and threatened that he would kill them if I did not cooperate. I am helpless.

Trafficking in Canada
The R.C.M.P. estimates that 800 foreign women are bought into the Canadian sex trade each year by human traffickers. Another 2,200 newcomers to Canada are smuggled into the United States from Canada for work in brothels, sweatshops, domestic jobs and construction work. It is widely believed that only 1 in 10 victims in trafficking report to the police, so the numbers are likely much larger.

Somebody tell me how I can do something about this...

Metabolism

Christians feed on Scripture. Holy Scripture nurtures the holy community as food nurtures the human body. Christians don't simply learn or study or use Scripture; we assimilate it, take it into our lives in such a way that it gets metabolized into acts of love, cups of cold water, missions into all the world, healing and evangelism and justice in Jesus' name, hands raised in adoration of the Father, feet washed in company with the Son.

~Eugene Peterson Eat This Book

It's Official

I went to Starbucks this morning, placed my order, handed over my partner card - it was handed back to me "Partner Number Not Found". Smallish tear & brief quivering upper lip (not really but added for effect) - after 6 months I am no longer a partner.

It was fun while it lasted!

Stop Doubting and Believe

I just got off the phone with someone I was anxiously awaiting to hear from all week.

Good news!

As I sat at my desk having hung up the phone from sharing my previous call with Leslie I remembered...

This morning I saw the kids off on the school bus. As the bus pulled away and I walked back to the house to get in the car & head to work, I was talking to God. As we walked and talked, I told God I'd really like to hear from someone today. I asked that it be possible.

..As I sit at my desk smiling God warms my heart. I'm drawing closer to the God that has always been here - not so much because of the phone call that He made happen but because of what that represents... ..God is in control & He's close - He cares about me!

Life With God

Leslie & I were having a conversation last night about the closeness of God's presence.

One of the things that I got out of The Shack was the reminder of how close & ever/always present God is.

I don't believe the right question is "Where is God?" or the adequate complaint "God is not close."

Don't read too much into this, I'm speaking about myself. God knows (truly) that I've asked that question and had that complaint more often than I care to recollect.

Here's the thought: What if the truth is that God is always close to me (Emmanuel) and the real question is 'Am I willing to be close to Him?'

I'm not referring to working up the feeling of God's presence through some religious contribution of my own. No amount of religious ritual or practice can replace the freedom & contentment of living in the truth of God's presence. Sometimes we have to take His word at illogical face value.

For Whom The Bell Tolls

I was there last night when the clock struck midnight and was fouth in line to pick up the new Metallica CD.

The new disc was being played as we waited in line - it's unbelievable!

For those long time hardcore fans of Metallica who salivate over the gritty, head banging, fist pumping, drum pounding, insane guitar wizardry, heavy, fast, crunchy, tight, delissioso feast that Death Magnetic is - THIS IS QUITE TASTY!

Can't wait to see them in December!

God on the Radio

God is in control...

On the night before his execution, Peter slept like a baby. Here he was, chained in a room full of soldiers, James's blood still moist on the ground, and though he could only assume this was his one last night before his own torturous death, he was not afraid. So peacefully did he rest, in fact, that the angel had to prod him to wake up, and even while he was walking, he questioned if he was dreaming. Meanwhile, the believers had dropped everything and gathered together to pray. Was this the thought that kept Peter at peace? That his friends and family were on their knees all day appealing to God for him? Maybe. But certainly Peter trusted that God was in control. A church that started with 12 people was now over 8,000, and God was blessing the world through these people.

Taken from The Dust off Their Feet (Chapter 12

God is in control.

It's both a sobering and intensely comforting truth.

Perception really is not reality. That's bullshit. Perception is not based in truth. It's largely based in false assumption which in turn creates a false reality.

I can lean towards impatience. I've also been known to question the truth of God's presence & control based on the false reality I've created when I assume God isn't around and is unconcerned with my life. That couldn't be further from the truth.

Monday I was on my way to work, weaving through rush hour traffic, when I heard some news on the radio that came as God speaking into my life.

This morning I read the above from Acts 12 regarding Peter's escape from prison.

I have just come back to work after a midday appointment at the doctor's office. I was to book a follow up that I need within the next week (I was actually hoping to have everything taken care of today but it didn't happen, however, I'm not concerned because I have a little time). The Dr. said, "I'll try to get you in ASAP if I'm not booking too far in advance." However, I heard her talking to the receptionist and it didn't sound promising. I heard something about not before 1 month away. But when the receptionist looked for an appointment on her computer she turned to me and said, "You're lucky - she has had a cancellation next week." I'm in!

Luck had nothing to do with the radio announcement, my reading this morning or the appointment due to cancellation next week... ..God is in control.

God, forgive my lack of faith at times. You know it will happen again. I invite your reminders.

Pastor Driven Church

Frank Viola names some of the struggle Leslie & I have had over the past several years as paid pastors.

HOW THE PASTORAL ROLE DAMAGES CHURCH BODY LIFE

The unscriptural clergy/laity distinction has done untold harm to the body of Christ. It has divided the believing community into first and second class Christians. The clergy/laity dichotomy perpetuates an awful falsehood--namely, that some Christians are more privileged than others to serve the Lord.

The one-man ministry is entirely foreign to the New Testament, yet we embrace it while it suffocates our functioning. We are living stones, not dead ones. However, the pastoral office has transformed us into stones that do not breathe.

Permit us to get personal. We believe the pastoral office has stolen your right to function as a full member of Christ's body. It has distorted the reality of the body, making the pastor a giant mouth and transforming you into a tiny ear. It has rendered you a mute spectator who is proficient at taking sermon notes and passing an offering plate...

..By his office, the pastor displaces and supplants Christ's headship by setting himself up as the church's human head. For this reason, nothing so hinders the fulfillment of God's eternal purpose as does the present-day pastoral role. Why? Because that purpose is centered on making Christ's headship visibly manifested in the church through the free, open, mutually participatory, every member functioning of the body. As long as the pastoral office is present in a particular church, that church will have a slim chance of witnessing such a glorious thing.

HOW THE PASTOR DAMAGES HIMSELF/HERSELF

Most pastors are expected to juggle fifteen major tasks at once. And many crumble under the pressure.

1. Casting Vision
2. Identifying & Training Leaders
3. Preaching & Teaching
4. Raising Money
5. Serving the Needy
6. Providing Strategy & Planning
7. Organizing Church Activities & Programs
8. Overseeing All Administration
9. Managing Staff & Volunteers
10. Resolving Conflicts
11. Representing the Congregation in the Community
12. Providing Congregation Care & Counseling
13. Evangelizing the Unsaved
14. Administering the Sacraments
15. Discipling Individuals

..Jesus Christ never intended any person to sport all the hats a present-day pastor is expected to wear. He never intended any one person to bear such a load...

..It is "lonely at the top" because God never intended for anyone to be at the top--except His Son!...

..The contemporary pastor is the most unquestioned fixture in twenty-first century Christianity. Yet not a strand of Scripture supports the existence of this office.

I challenge & encourage (even dare) you to pick up Pagan Christianity? and give it a thoughtful read. Be warned: it is not for the easily offended and narrow minded. But, if you are open to questioning all that you hold dear in your heart and mind with regards to your Christian faith & practices - this book is well worth wrestling with.

Save Me From Myself

Album dropped today!

Check the vid..

FLUSH - BRIAN HEAD WELCH -- THE OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO

Champagne

Today Joel turns 9 on the 9th - born 9/9/99!

It's your champagne year buddy - happy birthday!

Don't ask me why he's shirtless

The sleepover gang!

Our football game got rained out so the boys resorted to wrestling on the trampoline.

Rock Band was the game of choice!

Joel asked for a Stamps jersey - he dream is to live in Calgary & play for the Stamps someday!

Live the Life

I've had this Matt Redman song stuck in my head lately.

Many are the words we speak
Many are the songs we sing
Many kinds of offerings
But now to live the life

Help us live the life
Help us live the life
All we want to do is bring you something real
Bring You something true

Now to go the extra mile
Now to turn the other cheek
And to serve You with a life
Let us share your fellowship
Even of your sufferings
Never let the passion die...
Now to live the life...

Livin' the dream baby...livin' the dream

God speaks...books, dreams, songs, people, scripture... ..on & on...

I'm living in an awareness of his presence. Feeling the love. Knowing he's pleased with me no matter what because I'm living close to him.

I have lots of friends and family who are part of church as I knew it for so many years. Good friends & close family. So, I'm not knocking them when I say - church as I knew it that way is no longer right for me and my family.

Leslie & I have been feeling the rub & tug tension since moving back to Canada from Bermuda in 2000. God's been nudging and we've wondered at times 'is this God or our own sense & feeling?' I've personally wondered 'where is God - why isn't he showing up?'.

I've been slow to put the pieces together at times. Lack of faith, slow to understand, readily disbelieving and focusing on myself & personal limitations. God has been right here the whole time & with a smile on too!

We know we won't be part of an organized church again (period). Personally, I have little to show for a relationship with God after spending my whole life in the man-made system of organized church.

I once believed myself better than the lost, more loved by God and enjoying a place of privilege. I once believed my denomination to be supreme and although all Christian denominations believed Jesus to be the son of God - Salvationists were ahead of the pack because of the things we did & didn't do. I once believed I was a good Christian because I attended church at least once on Sundays (back in the day I went three times on a Sunday before the evening worship gathering was canned and Sunday school moved to during the pastor's sermon). I once believed my relationship with God was airtight based on time well spent in the church and answering to its schedule - giving my time & talents. My relationship with God was based on the church schedule. I segmented my life cutting God in and out wherever I decided.

God wants my whole life. God wants me to model something different for my kids, family & friends than the life I've been living handcuffed to the church. I want my kids to have a relationship with God that isn't dependent on & held together by the church & its system. I want my kids to have an awareness of God & his pleasure no matter where they are 24/7. Leaving the church system has been helping us live that life.

We haven't lost our calling, we're following it. We haven't lost faith, our faith is growing. We're not looking to do church better, cooler or attempting to ride the next trendy wave - God's calling us to live the life. We're planting a lifestyle & he's watering it and making it grow!

Where it leads, who it affects and how long it takes to grow - that's all part of the wonder of doing life together with God, our family & our friends!

The Shack

Mack paused, searching for the right words. "You're talking about the church as this woman you're in love with; I'm pretty sure I haven't met her." He turned away slightly. "She's not the place I go on Sundays," Mack said more to himself, unsure if that was safe to say out loud.

"Mack, that's because you're only seeing the institution, a man-made system. That's not what I came to build. What I see are people and their lives, a living breathing community of all those who love me, not buildings and programs."

Mack was a bit taken back to hear Jesus talking about "church" this way, but then again, it didn't really surprise him. It was a relief. "So how do I become part of that church?" he asked. "This woman you seem so gaga over."

"It's simple, Mack. It's all about relationships and simply sharing life. What we are doing right now--just doing this--and being open and available to others around us. My church is all about people and life is all about relationships. You can't build it. It's my job and I'm actually pretty good at it," Jesus said with a chuckle.

For Mack these words were like a breath of fresh air! Simple. Not a bunch of exhausting work and long list of demands, and not the sitting in endless meetings staring at the backs of people's heads, people he really didn't even know. Just sharing life.

Conversation between Mack & Jesus in The Shack (you have to read it to appreciate the above)

Mindless Trivia

I hadn't listened to Appetite in a while when Rocket Queen came on via shuffle. The solo sounded like another song. I knew it was a U2 song and had a feeling it was Bullet the Blue Sky. If you are fans of both and have both tracks, listen to the solos in each and see how amazingly similar they are - or is it me? Both released in 1987. Though The Joshua Tree came out first, Rocket Queen is an old Slash & Duff track from the Road Crew days. Geez I feel like Alan Cross.

Calgary Tattoo Convention 2008

Dawn of the dead

Freehand pinstriping - this guy has an amazingly steady hand.

Jake snapped a pic of Berk standing in front of this custom bike.

This year 16 teams competed for the coveted dodgeball trophy. I gotta get me on a dodgeball team!

The J-man standing beside a hot car!

Last year the roller derby must have been a friendly demo version because this year the girls were out for bruises! Seriously, the medic was called out three times and bodies were constantly flying off the track. It was awesome!

Summer Summer Summer (it's like a merry go round)

This summer was another great memory maker together as a family! Some highlights:

• Camping in Kananaskis with Deb, Berkley & Ruby - the kids had a blast and we had some great late night conversations around the campfire. We were welcomed by a cautionary sign reporting a bear sighting on the campground. When Berkley & I checked in we asked about where and when the bear was spotted. They told us it was just across the river about an hour before we pulled in - a mom & her two cubs. Guess whose site was on the other side of the river from where it was spotted? Yep - ours! Didn't see the bear all week just the same, though others did.
• Camping in Montana with the fam - tons to see, do & explore. The mountains are amazing as are the national parks that we've explored the last few summers here in the west. The Going to the Sun Road was a definite highlight and stopping in Glacier National Park to swim in the lake. The night we set up our trailer our neighbour came over and offered us his park pass for the week! He saved us some bone-age and set us up for swimming & hiking for the week!
• Camping at Red Lodge in Bowden. Always a hit. Lazy river rafting and mud fights at the river's edge.
• Camping in Magrath was alright. We went out on a limb and booked somewhere we hadn't camped before. A bit of rain and mosquitoes didn't help things but we made the most of it. We headed into Lethbridge a few times that week - made good use of the local splash pad & YMCA pool (membership has its privileges!).
• Performing the ceremony for Phil & Amanda's wedding. I love when we get to do those type of things and include our kids. It was a good experience for them to take part in with us.
• Jake & Julia washing the car for me. I looked out the window to discover they had found a squeegee, filled a bucket of water and was washing the car. I went out to see how it was going and to ask what they put in the water. Jake couldn't find any soap so he put dishwasher rinse aid in the water. The car was super shiny!
• Watching the Stamps kick butt twice - first against BC then all over Hamilton.
• Finished the last two Harry Potter books. The Potter books have been my reading material while camping the last three summers. Don't know what I'm going to read while camping next summer. Gonna miss Potter. Rowling is an amazing storyteller - might have to start the series again!
• Read Jim Palmer's second book Wide Open Spaces. I love the guy. He expresses a lot of what I feel about life, God, religion & ministry.
• Read The Shack. As I got a little ways into the book I wondered what the heck am I doing reading this while camping with my six & a half year old daughter. At first I wasn't sure what I thought of the book. I thought it was cheesy in parts; however, it got me thinking a lot to the point of ending up loving the book and setting about to read it again.
• Watching Joel at his hockey camps.
• Millarville Market
• Starbucks Doubleshot(s)
• Bertuzzi signing with the Flames
• Coffee with Peel
• Finding out Metallica hits Calgary in Dec (tickets on sale in Sept)
• Scars on Broadway (best download of the summer)
• Tropic Thunder (best movie of the summer)
• Hitting the tat show tomorrow (soon to be highlight!)

It's been a good summer!

Going to the Sun Road

Summer vacation is over - school is around the corner - new job venture about to begin...

I'll blog the highlights tomorrow.

Tonight here's a taster. We camped for a week in Montana and drove the Going to the Sun Road. Absolutely awesome!

Driving past the Weeping Wall

Some of the wildlife seen on the way up the mountain

Hardest Working Player

Here is a blog worthy post to enter back after my hiatus...

Joel was at hockey camp this week at the University of Calgary. Today they had a final big game and then an awards ceremony. He was one of 30 Atom kids and walked away with one of the three awards up for grabs - the hardest working player!

I was blown away when the coach called him to the front and asked him to pick a stick. If you run in hockey circles you'll know that a one piece composite is an expensive weapon even for a jr. Put it this way, til now Joel has been using $8 wooden sticks - wacka, wacka, wacka ol' skool. This stick he picked up as part of his award today runs at a whopping 60 bones!

Joel deserved it. He's been crawling into bed with sore legs each night and taking the stairs like an old man in the morning. Joel plays end to end as a hard workin', legs & heart pumpin' defensive offenseman.

The coach giving the award wanted to throw in ten bucks for a haircut too. Joel wasn't accepting that!

Joel - Hardest Working Player Award

w/Dinos Puck & Vapor Velocity Composite Stick

Congrats Joel!

Hiatus

Heading out camping with the fam - check back near the end of August!

Allen Pond outing

Maple Shaved Ice

I took the kids to Millarville Market yesterday while Leslie had a morning out with the girls.

Maple syrup over shaved ice - delish!

The Walking Wounded

Here's to all the walking wounded...

to those still carrying a little heartbroken boy or girl inside;
to those who feel rejected and lonely;
to those who woke up with a dull ache inside;
to those who are wondering where God is in the midst of their deep pain;
to those whose past wounds have been pulled opened yet again;
to those weary and worn out and longing for some place called home;
to those in the darkness who can't seem to find the light;
to those who wonder if they will ever find love;
to those who feel misunderstood;
to the abandoned and discarded;
to those who feel they are running out of reasons to get out of bed each morning;
to those who are smiling on the outside but dying on the inside;
to those suffering in silence.

Here's to the walking wounded...

Written by Jim Palmer "Wide Open Spaces"

Porn & Theiving - Uncensored

I was asked to write an article for my denomination on the topic of mentoring. The premise was that I'd use my story & how someone had impacted my life and how I in turn am impacting others lives.

I got a package from a guy in the editorial dept. this week with the printed article. Truth told, I don't read our periodicals. However, Leslie read through my article and asked me if I knew the sentence referring to "pornography and shoplifting" was edited out. I didn't realize it had.

My final draft included this paragraph:

"Lee was there for me and made himself available at a time when my life was a rollercoaster. Between the ages of 15-17 years old I had gotten deeply into pornography and shoplifting. I was between a relationship with God and an anger at the world so intense that I had a willingness to take on all comers. I was struggling in high school, working my way toward graduation and career choices I didn’t know which way to choose. Despite these things festering unknowingly below the surface to the onlooker, Lee invited me into his life. He accepted me."

The article needed to be shortened to fit the space allotted and so the following was to be the paragraph going to print:

"Lee was there for me at a time when my life was a rollercoaster. I had gotten deeply into pornography and shoplifting. I was struggling in high school and confused about career choices. I harbored an intense anger at the world. But Lee accepted me for who I was."

When the magazine comes out in August, the edited version (which I was unaware of and didn't approve of) reads:

"Lee was there for me at a time when my life was a rollercoaster. I was struggling in high school and confused about career choices. I harbored an intense anger at the world. But Lee accepted me for who I was."

Unfortunately that one sentence was omitted. Why - not sure? To keep the magazine clean? To not offend readers? Because someone at the source of editing & printing was uncomfortable with those words?

Well, whatever the reason, those two issues were a big part of my story. By editing them out that section is inaccurate & doesn't make complete sense - nor is it authentic. It's a story but it isn't mine.

These are the days I know I know I know...

Constantly thinking, continuously processing, wondering, waiting - always growing not knowing but living by trust - hoping

I love watching the stampede (mostly the bucking horses and kicking bulls). I cheer for the horses and bulls to buck the crap out of the riders and toss them off before the horn. I love it!

I can feel my father in me. I feel like him from time to time like he's the one speaking, not me even though I hear myself saying the words. I feel like his mannerisms are coming through me even though I'm the one moving. It's really weird.

My church closed 6 months ago. Some relationships I thought were gone have resolidified themselves. Some friends I thought were friends have proven not so. I'm at a good place - settled & satisfied with what was & is.

I've been feeling my way through continuous life change as a result of an ongoing shift in my thinking. I'm certain I will not lead nor be a member of an organized church again in my life. It's not where my heart or head are.

I've been working at Starbucks for the last 4 months on a part time basis. Among the benefits of being in my community, working alongside my neighbours and making new friends - it further gets me thinking on paid 'professional' clergy & the priesthood of all believers.

I look at & play with my kids sometimes thinking and feeling like a kid myself. Do we ever really grow up or do our body's just change & get bigger? Sometimes it seems like the latter.