Life With God

Leslie & I were having a conversation last night about the closeness of God's presence.

One of the things that I got out of The Shack was the reminder of how close & ever/always present God is.

I don't believe the right question is "Where is God?" or the adequate complaint "God is not close."

Don't read too much into this, I'm speaking about myself. God knows (truly) that I've asked that question and had that complaint more often than I care to recollect.

Here's the thought: What if the truth is that God is always close to me (Emmanuel) and the real question is 'Am I willing to be close to Him?'

I'm not referring to working up the feeling of God's presence through some religious contribution of my own. No amount of religious ritual or practice can replace the freedom & contentment of living in the truth of God's presence. Sometimes we have to take His word at illogical face value.

For Whom The Bell Tolls

I was there last night when the clock struck midnight and was fouth in line to pick up the new Metallica CD.

The new disc was being played as we waited in line - it's unbelievable!

For those long time hardcore fans of Metallica who salivate over the gritty, head banging, fist pumping, drum pounding, insane guitar wizardry, heavy, fast, crunchy, tight, delissioso feast that Death Magnetic is - THIS IS QUITE TASTY!

Can't wait to see them in December!

God on the Radio

God is in control...

On the night before his execution, Peter slept like a baby. Here he was, chained in a room full of soldiers, James's blood still moist on the ground, and though he could only assume this was his one last night before his own torturous death, he was not afraid. So peacefully did he rest, in fact, that the angel had to prod him to wake up, and even while he was walking, he questioned if he was dreaming. Meanwhile, the believers had dropped everything and gathered together to pray. Was this the thought that kept Peter at peace? That his friends and family were on their knees all day appealing to God for him? Maybe. But certainly Peter trusted that God was in control. A church that started with 12 people was now over 8,000, and God was blessing the world through these people.

Taken from The Dust off Their Feet (Chapter 12

God is in control.

It's both a sobering and intensely comforting truth.

Perception really is not reality. That's bullshit. Perception is not based in truth. It's largely based in false assumption which in turn creates a false reality.

I can lean towards impatience. I've also been known to question the truth of God's presence & control based on the false reality I've created when I assume God isn't around and is unconcerned with my life. That couldn't be further from the truth.

Monday I was on my way to work, weaving through rush hour traffic, when I heard some news on the radio that came as God speaking into my life.

This morning I read the above from Acts 12 regarding Peter's escape from prison.

I have just come back to work after a midday appointment at the doctor's office. I was to book a follow up that I need within the next week (I was actually hoping to have everything taken care of today but it didn't happen, however, I'm not concerned because I have a little time). The Dr. said, "I'll try to get you in ASAP if I'm not booking too far in advance." However, I heard her talking to the receptionist and it didn't sound promising. I heard something about not before 1 month away. But when the receptionist looked for an appointment on her computer she turned to me and said, "You're lucky - she has had a cancellation next week." I'm in!

Luck had nothing to do with the radio announcement, my reading this morning or the appointment due to cancellation next week... ..God is in control.

God, forgive my lack of faith at times. You know it will happen again. I invite your reminders.

Pastor Driven Church

Frank Viola names some of the struggle Leslie & I have had over the past several years as paid pastors.

HOW THE PASTORAL ROLE DAMAGES CHURCH BODY LIFE

The unscriptural clergy/laity distinction has done untold harm to the body of Christ. It has divided the believing community into first and second class Christians. The clergy/laity dichotomy perpetuates an awful falsehood--namely, that some Christians are more privileged than others to serve the Lord.

The one-man ministry is entirely foreign to the New Testament, yet we embrace it while it suffocates our functioning. We are living stones, not dead ones. However, the pastoral office has transformed us into stones that do not breathe.

Permit us to get personal. We believe the pastoral office has stolen your right to function as a full member of Christ's body. It has distorted the reality of the body, making the pastor a giant mouth and transforming you into a tiny ear. It has rendered you a mute spectator who is proficient at taking sermon notes and passing an offering plate...

..By his office, the pastor displaces and supplants Christ's headship by setting himself up as the church's human head. For this reason, nothing so hinders the fulfillment of God's eternal purpose as does the present-day pastoral role. Why? Because that purpose is centered on making Christ's headship visibly manifested in the church through the free, open, mutually participatory, every member functioning of the body. As long as the pastoral office is present in a particular church, that church will have a slim chance of witnessing such a glorious thing.

HOW THE PASTOR DAMAGES HIMSELF/HERSELF

Most pastors are expected to juggle fifteen major tasks at once. And many crumble under the pressure.

1. Casting Vision
2. Identifying & Training Leaders
3. Preaching & Teaching
4. Raising Money
5. Serving the Needy
6. Providing Strategy & Planning
7. Organizing Church Activities & Programs
8. Overseeing All Administration
9. Managing Staff & Volunteers
10. Resolving Conflicts
11. Representing the Congregation in the Community
12. Providing Congregation Care & Counseling
13. Evangelizing the Unsaved
14. Administering the Sacraments
15. Discipling Individuals

..Jesus Christ never intended any person to sport all the hats a present-day pastor is expected to wear. He never intended any one person to bear such a load...

..It is "lonely at the top" because God never intended for anyone to be at the top--except His Son!...

..The contemporary pastor is the most unquestioned fixture in twenty-first century Christianity. Yet not a strand of Scripture supports the existence of this office.

I challenge & encourage (even dare) you to pick up Pagan Christianity? and give it a thoughtful read. Be warned: it is not for the easily offended and narrow minded. But, if you are open to questioning all that you hold dear in your heart and mind with regards to your Christian faith & practices - this book is well worth wrestling with.

Save Me From Myself

Album dropped today!

Check the vid..

FLUSH - BRIAN HEAD WELCH -- THE OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO

Champagne

Today Joel turns 9 on the 9th - born 9/9/99!

It's your champagne year buddy - happy birthday!

Don't ask me why he's shirtless

The sleepover gang!

Our football game got rained out so the boys resorted to wrestling on the trampoline.

Rock Band was the game of choice!

Joel asked for a Stamps jersey - he dream is to live in Calgary & play for the Stamps someday!

Live the Life

I've had this Matt Redman song stuck in my head lately.

Many are the words we speak
Many are the songs we sing
Many kinds of offerings
But now to live the life

Help us live the life
Help us live the life
All we want to do is bring you something real
Bring You something true

Now to go the extra mile
Now to turn the other cheek
And to serve You with a life
Let us share your fellowship
Even of your sufferings
Never let the passion die...
Now to live the life...

Livin' the dream baby...livin' the dream

God speaks...books, dreams, songs, people, scripture... ..on & on...

I'm living in an awareness of his presence. Feeling the love. Knowing he's pleased with me no matter what because I'm living close to him.

I have lots of friends and family who are part of church as I knew it for so many years. Good friends & close family. So, I'm not knocking them when I say - church as I knew it that way is no longer right for me and my family.

Leslie & I have been feeling the rub & tug tension since moving back to Canada from Bermuda in 2000. God's been nudging and we've wondered at times 'is this God or our own sense & feeling?' I've personally wondered 'where is God - why isn't he showing up?'.

I've been slow to put the pieces together at times. Lack of faith, slow to understand, readily disbelieving and focusing on myself & personal limitations. God has been right here the whole time & with a smile on too!

We know we won't be part of an organized church again (period). Personally, I have little to show for a relationship with God after spending my whole life in the man-made system of organized church.

I once believed myself better than the lost, more loved by God and enjoying a place of privilege. I once believed my denomination to be supreme and although all Christian denominations believed Jesus to be the son of God - Salvationists were ahead of the pack because of the things we did & didn't do. I once believed I was a good Christian because I attended church at least once on Sundays (back in the day I went three times on a Sunday before the evening worship gathering was canned and Sunday school moved to during the pastor's sermon). I once believed my relationship with God was airtight based on time well spent in the church and answering to its schedule - giving my time & talents. My relationship with God was based on the church schedule. I segmented my life cutting God in and out wherever I decided.

God wants my whole life. God wants me to model something different for my kids, family & friends than the life I've been living handcuffed to the church. I want my kids to have a relationship with God that isn't dependent on & held together by the church & its system. I want my kids to have an awareness of God & his pleasure no matter where they are 24/7. Leaving the church system has been helping us live that life.

We haven't lost our calling, we're following it. We haven't lost faith, our faith is growing. We're not looking to do church better, cooler or attempting to ride the next trendy wave - God's calling us to live the life. We're planting a lifestyle & he's watering it and making it grow!

Where it leads, who it affects and how long it takes to grow - that's all part of the wonder of doing life together with God, our family & our friends!

The Shack

Mack paused, searching for the right words. "You're talking about the church as this woman you're in love with; I'm pretty sure I haven't met her." He turned away slightly. "She's not the place I go on Sundays," Mack said more to himself, unsure if that was safe to say out loud.

"Mack, that's because you're only seeing the institution, a man-made system. That's not what I came to build. What I see are people and their lives, a living breathing community of all those who love me, not buildings and programs."

Mack was a bit taken back to hear Jesus talking about "church" this way, but then again, it didn't really surprise him. It was a relief. "So how do I become part of that church?" he asked. "This woman you seem so gaga over."

"It's simple, Mack. It's all about relationships and simply sharing life. What we are doing right now--just doing this--and being open and available to others around us. My church is all about people and life is all about relationships. You can't build it. It's my job and I'm actually pretty good at it," Jesus said with a chuckle.

For Mack these words were like a breath of fresh air! Simple. Not a bunch of exhausting work and long list of demands, and not the sitting in endless meetings staring at the backs of people's heads, people he really didn't even know. Just sharing life.

Conversation between Mack & Jesus in The Shack (you have to read it to appreciate the above)

Mindless Trivia

I hadn't listened to Appetite in a while when Rocket Queen came on via shuffle. The solo sounded like another song. I knew it was a U2 song and had a feeling it was Bullet the Blue Sky. If you are fans of both and have both tracks, listen to the solos in each and see how amazingly similar they are - or is it me? Both released in 1987. Though The Joshua Tree came out first, Rocket Queen is an old Slash & Duff track from the Road Crew days. Geez I feel like Alan Cross.

Calgary Tattoo Convention 2008

Dawn of the dead

Freehand pinstriping - this guy has an amazingly steady hand.

Jake snapped a pic of Berk standing in front of this custom bike.

This year 16 teams competed for the coveted dodgeball trophy. I gotta get me on a dodgeball team!

The J-man standing beside a hot car!

Last year the roller derby must have been a friendly demo version because this year the girls were out for bruises! Seriously, the medic was called out three times and bodies were constantly flying off the track. It was awesome!

Summer Summer Summer (it's like a merry go round)

This summer was another great memory maker together as a family! Some highlights:

• Camping in Kananaskis with Deb, Berkley & Ruby - the kids had a blast and we had some great late night conversations around the campfire. We were welcomed by a cautionary sign reporting a bear sighting on the campground. When Berkley & I checked in we asked about where and when the bear was spotted. They told us it was just across the river about an hour before we pulled in - a mom & her two cubs. Guess whose site was on the other side of the river from where it was spotted? Yep - ours! Didn't see the bear all week just the same, though others did.
• Camping in Montana with the fam - tons to see, do & explore. The mountains are amazing as are the national parks that we've explored the last few summers here in the west. The Going to the Sun Road was a definite highlight and stopping in Glacier National Park to swim in the lake. The night we set up our trailer our neighbour came over and offered us his park pass for the week! He saved us some bone-age and set us up for swimming & hiking for the week!
• Camping at Red Lodge in Bowden. Always a hit. Lazy river rafting and mud fights at the river's edge.
• Camping in Magrath was alright. We went out on a limb and booked somewhere we hadn't camped before. A bit of rain and mosquitoes didn't help things but we made the most of it. We headed into Lethbridge a few times that week - made good use of the local splash pad & YMCA pool (membership has its privileges!).
• Performing the ceremony for Phil & Amanda's wedding. I love when we get to do those type of things and include our kids. It was a good experience for them to take part in with us.
• Jake & Julia washing the car for me. I looked out the window to discover they had found a squeegee, filled a bucket of water and was washing the car. I went out to see how it was going and to ask what they put in the water. Jake couldn't find any soap so he put dishwasher rinse aid in the water. The car was super shiny!
• Watching the Stamps kick butt twice - first against BC then all over Hamilton.
• Finished the last two Harry Potter books. The Potter books have been my reading material while camping the last three summers. Don't know what I'm going to read while camping next summer. Gonna miss Potter. Rowling is an amazing storyteller - might have to start the series again!
• Read Jim Palmer's second book Wide Open Spaces. I love the guy. He expresses a lot of what I feel about life, God, religion & ministry.
• Read The Shack. As I got a little ways into the book I wondered what the heck am I doing reading this while camping with my six & a half year old daughter. At first I wasn't sure what I thought of the book. I thought it was cheesy in parts; however, it got me thinking a lot to the point of ending up loving the book and setting about to read it again.
• Watching Joel at his hockey camps.
• Millarville Market
• Starbucks Doubleshot(s)
• Bertuzzi signing with the Flames
• Coffee with Peel
• Finding out Metallica hits Calgary in Dec (tickets on sale in Sept)
• Scars on Broadway (best download of the summer)
• Tropic Thunder (best movie of the summer)
• Hitting the tat show tomorrow (soon to be highlight!)

It's been a good summer!

Going to the Sun Road

Summer vacation is over - school is around the corner - new job venture about to begin...

I'll blog the highlights tomorrow.

Tonight here's a taster. We camped for a week in Montana and drove the Going to the Sun Road. Absolutely awesome!

Driving past the Weeping Wall

Some of the wildlife seen on the way up the mountain

Hardest Working Player

Here is a blog worthy post to enter back after my hiatus...

Joel was at hockey camp this week at the University of Calgary. Today they had a final big game and then an awards ceremony. He was one of 30 Atom kids and walked away with one of the three awards up for grabs - the hardest working player!

I was blown away when the coach called him to the front and asked him to pick a stick. If you run in hockey circles you'll know that a one piece composite is an expensive weapon even for a jr. Put it this way, til now Joel has been using $8 wooden sticks - wacka, wacka, wacka ol' skool. This stick he picked up as part of his award today runs at a whopping 60 bones!

Joel deserved it. He's been crawling into bed with sore legs each night and taking the stairs like an old man in the morning. Joel plays end to end as a hard workin', legs & heart pumpin' defensive offenseman.

The coach giving the award wanted to throw in ten bucks for a haircut too. Joel wasn't accepting that!

Joel - Hardest Working Player Award

w/Dinos Puck & Vapor Velocity Composite Stick

Congrats Joel!

Hiatus

Heading out camping with the fam - check back near the end of August!

Allen Pond outing

Maple Shaved Ice

I took the kids to Millarville Market yesterday while Leslie had a morning out with the girls.

Maple syrup over shaved ice - delish!

The Walking Wounded

Here's to all the walking wounded...

to those still carrying a little heartbroken boy or girl inside;
to those who feel rejected and lonely;
to those who woke up with a dull ache inside;
to those who are wondering where God is in the midst of their deep pain;
to those whose past wounds have been pulled opened yet again;
to those weary and worn out and longing for some place called home;
to those in the darkness who can't seem to find the light;
to those who wonder if they will ever find love;
to those who feel misunderstood;
to the abandoned and discarded;
to those who feel they are running out of reasons to get out of bed each morning;
to those who are smiling on the outside but dying on the inside;
to those suffering in silence.

Here's to the walking wounded...

Written by Jim Palmer "Wide Open Spaces"

Porn & Theiving - Uncensored

I was asked to write an article for my denomination on the topic of mentoring. The premise was that I'd use my story & how someone had impacted my life and how I in turn am impacting others lives.

I got a package from a guy in the editorial dept. this week with the printed article. Truth told, I don't read our periodicals. However, Leslie read through my article and asked me if I knew the sentence referring to "pornography and shoplifting" was edited out. I didn't realize it had.

My final draft included this paragraph:

"Lee was there for me and made himself available at a time when my life was a rollercoaster. Between the ages of 15-17 years old I had gotten deeply into pornography and shoplifting. I was between a relationship with God and an anger at the world so intense that I had a willingness to take on all comers. I was struggling in high school, working my way toward graduation and career choices I didn’t know which way to choose. Despite these things festering unknowingly below the surface to the onlooker, Lee invited me into his life. He accepted me."

The article needed to be shortened to fit the space allotted and so the following was to be the paragraph going to print:

"Lee was there for me at a time when my life was a rollercoaster. I had gotten deeply into pornography and shoplifting. I was struggling in high school and confused about career choices. I harbored an intense anger at the world. But Lee accepted me for who I was."

When the magazine comes out in August, the edited version (which I was unaware of and didn't approve of) reads:

"Lee was there for me at a time when my life was a rollercoaster. I was struggling in high school and confused about career choices. I harbored an intense anger at the world. But Lee accepted me for who I was."

Unfortunately that one sentence was omitted. Why - not sure? To keep the magazine clean? To not offend readers? Because someone at the source of editing & printing was uncomfortable with those words?

Well, whatever the reason, those two issues were a big part of my story. By editing them out that section is inaccurate & doesn't make complete sense - nor is it authentic. It's a story but it isn't mine.

These are the days I know I know I know...

Constantly thinking, continuously processing, wondering, waiting - always growing not knowing but living by trust - hoping

I love watching the stampede (mostly the bucking horses and kicking bulls). I cheer for the horses and bulls to buck the crap out of the riders and toss them off before the horn. I love it!

I can feel my father in me. I feel like him from time to time like he's the one speaking, not me even though I hear myself saying the words. I feel like his mannerisms are coming through me even though I'm the one moving. It's really weird.

My church closed 6 months ago. Some relationships I thought were gone have resolidified themselves. Some friends I thought were friends have proven not so. I'm at a good place - settled & satisfied with what was & is.

I've been feeling my way through continuous life change as a result of an ongoing shift in my thinking. I'm certain I will not lead nor be a member of an organized church again in my life. It's not where my heart or head are.

I've been working at Starbucks for the last 4 months on a part time basis. Among the benefits of being in my community, working alongside my neighbours and making new friends - it further gets me thinking on paid 'professional' clergy & the priesthood of all believers.

I look at & play with my kids sometimes thinking and feeling like a kid myself. Do we ever really grow up or do our body's just change & get bigger? Sometimes it seems like the latter.

None Taken

The kids and I are doing some painting while Leslie is away & will surprise her when she gets home (no she won't be checking online while she's away...I don't she will!)!

Tonight I was finishing up when Julia (my 6 year old sweetie) enters the room and says, "Dad, you're the best painter in the world!" Jake (my 10 year old & getting older) quickly follows up with, "He's not the best in the world. No offense dad." I responded with a Harry, "No, none taken."

Just like your older kid to come along and put things into perspective - thanks J-man.

Dumb & Dumber has been on the brain - it's been a while, I really should give it a lookie!

Goodbye my Looovvveee...

Leslie left yesterday to be the guest for the kids programming segment at Moms & Tots camp...we all missed her today.

Puberty

So.. I'm sitting in the living room with Joel (my eight year old) where out of the corner of my eye I see him looking at his frozen yogurt popsicle. Joel says to me, "I think this popsicle is going through puberty." I said, "Why?" Joel replies, "Because it has a hair on it."

I laughed hysterically - he didn't see why it was so funny!

Too Much Information

Here are some tidbits about me. Why? We had a partner appreciation week last week at work where each of us listed something about ourselves that other partners may not know. I thought it would be fun to throw a few up here starting with what I posted from work.

• I lived in Bermuda for three years. In fact, both my sons were born there (my daughter was born in Mississauga, ON Canada).
• I was born with a club foot. As a result, my left foot is 1 cm shorter than my right foot, my left leg is an inch shorter than my right leg & my left leg is smaller than my right leg (most noticeable when I wear shorts & my calves are exposed).
• I sunburn easily & badly. I've had blisters on several occasions & once spent time in the hospital being treated for second degree burns from the sun.
• I don't wear deodorant. I'm not sure what it is about my body but when I sweat it doesn't smell. I can play hockey, workout & run for 5 kms yet I don't get BO. However, I will occasionally wear deodorant for the scent. Put it this way, I haven't opened the deodorant stick Leslie put in my stocking this past Christmas because I'm still working on the one she put in my stocking the Christmas before last Christmas.
• I love the smell of skunk spray. Leslie doesn't even know this about me. The scent reminds me of the best summer of my life. Reason is because that first summer I started going out with Leslie (June 3, 1989) there was a skunk problem at the camp we were working at. The camp director was a hunter & so he set traps for the skunks. I'd help him check the traps and dispose of the skunks. Funny thing about the mind and associations!
• I was security for Rod Stewart. This leads into another, I was a member of 723 Comm Squadron in Halifax, NS as part of the Canadian Forces Reserves. During that time, Rod Stewart was visiting town to do a concert on Citadel Hill. We were called in to be security.

I could go on...maybe another time, another post!

HEAD

The Dream

Making omelettes for breakfast with Jake
Sitting in a cold rink on a hot day watching (with the other parents) as Joel & the kids play 3 on 3
Listening to God, as pointed out by Julia, in a Hannah Montana song (who knew?)
Walking a young couple through marriage prep over dinner
Spending the evening playing Trivial Pursuit with our friends while the kids play Disney Scene It

Does church get any better than this?

Press Play

A 3 minute sample of Head's first track Flush off the upcoming debut is available on his myspace page. The full length song will be available on itunes 07/08/08 with the album coming out 09/09/08. I've been chomping at the bit for this one - can't wait!

Lately my ipod play consists of:

• Aerosmith - Big Ones & Permanent Vacation
• System of a Down - Mezmerize
• Ozzy - No More Tears
• The Black Crowes - Warpaint & Greatest Hits
• Bruce Springsteen - Born in the USA
• KISS - Alive

I've finally gotten past the 4000 song mark on my ipod. The thing is crazy - I haven't even filled it 1/4 & I have tons of other stuff on it. I've thrown a bunch of audio books on there for the kids for our trek camping in Montana this summer - Beverly Cleary, Roald Dahl and of course, Dr. Seuss. We're all looking forward to the end of school next week & the beginning of the camping season - woo!

Does Organized Church do More Harm Than Good?

Jim recently made a post by the above title. If you have a few moments it's worth checking out here (don't forget to scan the comments). In this first post he answers that yes, organized church does do more harm than good.

He follows up the first post with a second post here. In the second post he responds with the comments of people who feel organized church has had a positive impact on their lives (again, don't neglect the comments).

Happy reading!

Full of life

I know I've said it before yet I'll say it again, life is full, good & full.

- Joel was selected to take part in a hockey school in July at no cost to us! It's a Calgary Flames camp & he'll be spending a couple of hours at the Saddledome on tour of the Flames dressing room, etc. He's pretty stoked as are we for him!

- Julia lost her two front baby teeth. I'm watching her grow up before my very eyes and it both excites me and scares the heck out of me. In some ways I want her to continue to be my little girl forever.

- Jake & I have had some great talks as of late. These are cherished moments. One night he was asking me about drugs because a kid on his soccer team (while they were both on the sidelines together) asked him if he knew what getting high meant. Another time, during a drive we were taking together, he was telling me how left out he sometimes feels because kids have seen movies that he hasn't. Austin Powers was the movie in question and he wanted to know why he hasn't seen it yet.

Parenting is such a huge responsibility. I love it and don't love it (hate is too strong a word to use coz I wouldn't take it that far). It's not about my kids - I love them, there is no question. I'm more concerned with messing up and messing them up. I'm concerned with them rebelling against me and not wanting to speak to me when they get older. I'm concerned with them leaving our family to begin their own and not needing me anymore.

God has given them to us in trust for a time. That's hard. I know it and I will deal with letting go when that time comes. For now, every moment is precious as I get to be a part of their growing up.

My Girl

Julia lost her two front teeth this week - one on Wednesday & one yesterday (Friday).

My little beauty is growing up!

Wi-fied into the Kingdom of God

I'm rereading Jim Palmer's book after having read it for the first time over a year ago.

Excellent book. Pick it up and also check out his blog - he's a great storyteller, relatable and a great mind.

Check this excellent quote from the book:

"For most of my adult life, I have been seeking after God in church. Now I'm starting to understand that I'm already wi-fied into the kingdom of God through the Spirit of Christ living in me."

I love that, "wi-fied into the kingdom of God through the Spirit of Christ living in me."

Hope of a Better Past

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. That's why they call it 'the present.'"

Great "fortune cookie" type line from Kung Fu Panda. The kids got out early from school yesterday so we took them to see it (we're all big fans of Jack Black - he's the man!)!

Loved the movie!

That line stood out for me because it holds a lot of truth for me in this period of my life.

My spiritual director told me some months ago that his impression of me (as he was listening to me speak) was that I seem to be stewing over past regrets, consumed with future fears and missing out on the present moment.

Six weeks ago I went to a weekend 'personal growth' workshop in the city of champions. That weekend another similar statement hit home "I finally gave up hope of having a better past."

The present moment truly is a gift. I'm not saying don't learn from the past and don't prepare for the future but when they both consume (like they sometimes do with me) the moment passes and I've missed out.

I'm still learning...

19

..and counting!

I love my boys!

Jake was telling me about his prayer a couple of nights ago and how he was praying for a family in our community who was going through a tough time as the result of a hit & run DUI that killed a woman. He went on to say that he prayed for the Penguins (his team) to beat the Flyers (my team).

I said, "Jake, do you think God cares about hockey & who wins the cup?"
He said, "No, but I know He cares about me & I care about hockey & who wins the cup."

Geez, I wish I had the faith insight & God capacity that I once had as a kid.

*** *** *** *** ***

Joel & I were heading into the Y to volunteer tonight when he saw a couple of high school kids dressed in football gear heading to or from a game/practice.

Joel said, "When I grow up I'm going to either be a football player, hockey player or a coal miner."
I said, "Joel, do people still coal mine?"
He said, "Oh yeah! They make like one thousand seven hundred dollars a year!

I'm not sure which book & from which era he had taken his research but to him it seems like a good paying job!

Top Shelf

Jake got his first goal of the soccer season yesterday as he received a pass, went in on the left side of the goal and kicked the ball over the keepers head into the top left corner of the net! His team went on to win their first game of the season 5-2!

We're very proud of Jake, he's doing great in his first season of an organized sport (I'm still trying to figure out all the rules of soccer)!

From a Distance

Life is full but God seems far. He says He's not but I'm not feelin' Him.

I tried to have a conversation with Him about it this morning but, as so often, He didn't say anything.

I spoke at a friend's church in Cochrane this morning so I had 45 minutes each way to hear from "Abba". Nothin'.

How much time does He need!?!

Like the mind of one who's grown up in the church, my mind told me that I need to read my Bible to hear...right.

Shouldn't the God who creatively spoke the galaxy & the mosquito into existence be creative enough to speak to me without me doing the work of looking into a book that sometimes comes across as repetitive, stale and uncomprehendable!?!

I'm at a loss for words - I wish He had some.

Post #150

Had dinner with Darrell, our friend from the Halifax/Dartmouth days on Wednesday night. It was great to catch up. We hadn't spent time together since 1999 when he came to visit in Bermuda.

Found out on Thursday that a girl I work with is getting married by a mutual good friend who will be visiting Calgary on the May long weekend to do the wedding!

Thursday night Berkley & I met up with a new friend, Eric as we moshed it up at the As I Lay Dying show. August Burns Red also played and kicked ace. The venue was small & tight - Berk & I threw a few guys up to crowd surf - it was a good time!

Came home Thursday night & had a short visit with Karen, another visiting friend before Leslie left @ 1 a.m. to take her back to her hotel for an early morning flight. I got to sleep at 1:30 a.m. and got up three hours later for an opening shift.

Friday I carried burdened thoughts over a friend in ministry. I fear there are those in pivotal positions of leadership within my denomination that are concerned more with the brand & distinctives of the denomination than they are with Jesus & His non-conformist creativity. I'm not puzzled and questioning why youth are leaving our denomination - I think it's obvious. More to follow... ..

Friday night hockey with Joel...Saturday morning Soccer with Jake...Saturday evening hockey with Joel...THE FLYERS KICKED MONTREAL'S ASS & OUSTED THEM FROM THE PLAYOFFS - BOOYA!!!

Winding down with a wee post..

Mature Choice

Picked this tidbit up at work this morning:

Growing old is mandatory,

Growing up is a choice.

~Unknown

Life is full

I thought I'd squeeze in a post or two in what has been a very full few days (with little breathing room on the horizon).

sup?

• Early 4:41 am starts (the last 2 months, this early rise has been a big deal for me)
• A second ministry proposal due for Toronto
• An article due early May (which is taking time now)
• Speaking at a buddy's church this weekend
• Volunteering at the Y tonight
• A conference call tomorrow night
• Jake's first soccer game on Tuesday night
• A network of house church planters in Red Deer on Wednesday lunch
• Dinner with an old pal on Wednesday night
• As I Lay Dying with Berkley & a new bud on Thursday night
• My part in a prayer manifesto is due on Friday
• Social w/hockey parents on Saturday night
• Two years ago I contributed to a book I wasn't sure would ever come to be - I found out today (as I was sent a copy to look over) that it will be going to print very soon!
• Of course, watching my Flyers get in the heads of the Habs
• Just finished Head's book - what an incredible man & story

Good times - please forgive my lack of posting!

Jesus of Suburbia - Jamie's comment

Jamie made a comment on my previous post - his comment is worthy of a stand alone post especially if there may be those that skip comments and could miss it...

As someone who lives and serves in an inner city community, I couldn't agree with you more. I am a very strong advocate for increased Christian involvement in the inner city, but only because that it the context to which I am called and can see the need. However, I am not blind the broader needs.

I have said it many times before, but it is worth saying again: Suburbia is a far more challenging context in which to be truly missional than the inner city in so many ways. While the problems in the inner city are many, they are also largely out in the open for many to see. Further, because so few Christians genuinely engage the community missionally, there is a freedom to explore and experiment with creative ways of serving God and our neighbours.

In suburbia the culture of respectability and privacy means that the very real problems are often hidden behind a veneer of manicured lawns and smiling faces. Further, the culture is less forgiving about innovation in ministry. All this to say that, while many people pat me on the back for living and working in the inner city, my heroes are those who genuinely contend with the culture of suburbia for Christ without abandoning it or compromising within it.

Great comment Jamie!

Jesus of Suburbia

If you haven't heard, our community found out early yesterday evening that someone was found dead in their home between 4 & 6 p.m. that same day. The home is literally a hop, skip & jump from where I live.

As details unfolded today the woman found dead was strangled to death and it's a good possibility it was her husband who did it. It's sketchy but it sounds as though following the killing of his wife he drove out on the highway and took his own life as he drove into oncoming traffic.

Sad but not surprising. Prior to watching the 11 p.m. news last night I joked that people would be saying, "I can't believe it!" "I'm shocked." "Not in our quiet community, others but not ours." "They were good people, quiet, kept to themselves."

Sometimes in the church we're led to believe that real problems & real ministry happens where the obvious, visible issues are - downtown, inner city among the down & out ("that's where Jesus would be"). I don't dispute that there are some real needs among the homeless & the substance addicted, those people are close to Jesus' heart & He would be found among those marginalized. I know too that the greater church community has far too long been much too comfortable, complacent and neglectful of the less fortunate.

That said, there are issues in suburbia. Issues of: substance abuse and addiction, pornography addiction, debt, uncontrolled rage, many kinds of abuse, not the least of which is domestic violence - and the list continues. Add to that single parents, both male & female (but mostly single moms), attempting to raise healthy children without support. Plus the overwhelming sense of loneliness & isolation that many feel especially in a city like Calgary where many have left the comfort of close family support in other parts of the country to seek employment in a city & province bursting with opportunity.

Suburbia has issues that are close to Jesus' heart too. I believe you'd also find him here pulling up a chair at the table in the home of someone in Bridlewood.

The church isn't doing so well in Suburbia either. We live next door to people we don't even bother getting to know. Church is something we do on Sunday & we drive to get to it - away from real life in our immediate community and into the little 'once a week' compartment we've reserved for God, church & something we refer to as ministry.

There's a bigger world out there people. Someone in your neighbourhood needs a friend as much as you do - give it a whirl!

As I call it...

The Flyers owned Montreal tonight, playing very well and providing every assurance that they can win this series.

What happened?

Here's what I saw:

1) an obvious high stick on a goal that the refs chose to count instead of calling it truthfully as a high stick (probably for fear of not getting out of Montreal in one piece).

2) a bogus call with 1:05 left in the third period that put Montreal on the power play (six on four) in the dying seconds. It was neither a kneeing infraction nor a tripping infraction (as was called). Richards put his shoulder into the Montreal player, there was no kneeing motion. And, who calls a penalty in the last minute of a playoff game?

On another note, Bell Centre fans are rude, disrespectful & ignorant. They boo during the U.S. anthem, they boo opposing team super stars, they boo the home team when they are displeased and what's with showering the opposing team with beer when he's helplessly in the penalty box?

What a bunch of clowns!

On the iPod

I have 3500 songs on my iPod, 1 book, a dozen podcasts, 20 talks, pics - and still, it's not even 25% full! Amazing, I love it!

Getting lots of play in the buds lately is SOAD's "Mezmerize" - it has to be one of the best recordings of all time. P.O.D.'s new album is delish as well with the return of original guitarist Marcus Curiel.

I'm getting really stoked about heading to the As I Lay Dying show next week. I saw them a couple of years back at the dome & they were awesome. This time around it will be a smaller venue which always makes for a better show with this kinda band. All of their stuff is getting it's fair share of play also. Good stuff - yeah!

Most Dedicated Player

Joel's hockey team had a wind up party over the weekend that I missed. Joel received highest honors on his team, the "most dedicated player" award! I'm so proud of him for working so hard every game. He had great hockey sense for his age - he seems to know where his teammates are and is very unselfish with the puck as he is a great passer. He skates hard, plays his best and comes off the ice every time with wet hockey hair - the sign of a hard worker!

Congrats Joel - bring on Atom!

In action!

Check out the practice jersey (unfortunately he's switched to Penguins).

What's important?

Sylvan's Request

"Will you color with me?" asked Sylvan.

"Not right now, I'm going to go do..."

something important.

I went to do something I needed to do, didn't I?

Oh no.

What a glorious invitation I passed on today.

I could have colored!

I never color anymore.

I saw I wasn't good at coloring, so I stopped.

Growing up is dangerous like that.

It's so easy to forget that playing isn't competing,

so easy to confuse the serious with the important

or the skillful with the valuable.

Sylvan wanted to color while Leo played in a cardboard box

and Violette carefully balanced a pillow on her head.

How silly they are.

How wonderfully, worshipfully, beautifully silly!

But me?

Well, I had to do something important.

~Nathan Bubna

I almost passed on an opportunity to play ping pong with a kid while volunteering on Monday night. I had already played ping pong with this kid and he left the family center for what I thought was the night. I picked up a book and started reading and then he showed up again about fifteen minutes later wanted to play again. I said, "I'm going to read for a bit." Then I took a look across the room at the kid having to sit there and watch the kids on the ddr. I felt bad and decided to take him up on the game. I kicked his butt!

Kids are worth putting time into. Sometimes we may think we have better things to do. More often than not that may even be true. But when we consider the privilege of being invited while they are still interested in playing with us...that's priceless.

4 & 0!!!

We were in Edmonton this weekend for Joel's final hockey tournament of the season. The team played unbelievably winning all four of their games: 11-7; 9-1; 7-1; 9-1!

Congrats Bullets!

After a slow start in the early part of the season the team began playing as a team - working together, communicating, passing the puck, great defense (puck off the boards & out), great goaltending - and it was obvious in the results.

Great job coaches!

Joel got the hard hat in the first game with 3 goals 2 assissts! He had 9 goals & 8 assissts in four games for the tournament! He also had a penalty for his Gordie Howe hat trick in the third game!

Booya Joel!

(Pics to follow)

Predators & Porn

I was invited last night to travel to Red Deer & deliver a speak on porn.

Porn is a topic that catches & keeps peoples attention while at the same time causing them to squirm. It's an issue not spoken of enough in the church yet it is has a huge hold in the lives of church people, including pastors.

Each time I talk about porn is an opportunity to speak to internet safety. I have three young kids of my own & a parent can never be too safe. Worse still is to be naive in thinking "my kids don't have a clue about porn". Stats say that 9 in 10 kids 8-16 years old have experienced porn at least once usually by accident while doing homework.

Here are some resources to check out:

Resources, stats, help - xxxchurch.com
Free accountability software - x3watch
Inexpensive filter - safe eyes
Addiction help - pureonline
For Parents - safe families

No Dr. Pepper for Slash

Rolling Stone says, "While we all wait endlessly for Axl Rose to release the long-delayed Chinese Democracy, the makers of Dr. Pepper are being proactive. The soft drink announced they will provide a free can of the soda to everyone in the U.S. if the album drops this year. “It took a little patience for us to perfect Dr Pepper’s special mix of 23ingredients, so we completely understand and empathize with Axl’s [quest] for the perfect album,” said a Dr. Pepper spokesperson."

And here, "Axl Rose has responded to Dr. Pepper’s offer to give everyone (except Slash and guitarist Buckethead) a free can of soda if Guns n’ Roses finally release the long-awaited Chinese Democracy this year. In a press release, Rose says, “We are surprised and very happy to have the support of Dr. Pepper with our album Chinese Democracy, as for us, this came totally out of the blue. If there is any involvement with this promotion by our record company or others, we are unaware of such at this time. And as some of Buckethead’s performances are on our album, I’ll share my Dr. Pepper with him.” Slash will still have to buy a can, apparently. Still, we don’t think we’ll be hearing Democracy anytime soon, unless Gn’R goes all Raconteurs on us."

Anne Rice

Jamie recently had opportunity to interview Anne Rice on his blog:

Jamie: From your years of living outside of the church, especially given the genres you most commonly wrote, I am sure you have faced your fair share of "critique" at the hands of Christians. what advice can you give Christians about how we can better love our neighbours outside the church?

Anne: Loving our neighbors and our enemies is the core of the Sermon on the Mount, the core of Christianity and I think we have to approach our critics, both Christian and atheist, with immense patience. We have to demonstrate that we are Christians by being people who know how to love. Love trumps judgment. Our Lord will do the judging. Satan does the accusing.

We have to regain our credibility as people who know how to love in the name of the Lord. And some times our worst test comes from another Christian. Again, we must forgive, and love, and reach out to all. I think many people despise us because they don't think we follow the commands of our founder. They don't think we love others. This is tragic. To love all is one of the hardest things we have to learn how to do. And we must never give up trying. Christ's most radical demand is that we love all in His name.

Continue Reading...

Redemption

There is hope.

I know I'm a better parent than my parents were to me. My saying that is not disrespectful arrogance. I expect my kids to take the parenting they've received from me and be a better parent than I was to them. Take the helpful while leaving the not so helpful.

Beating a child is never acceptable. I don't care if that is how you were parented; I don't care if that's all you know from your experience as a child; I don't care if that was the generation you came from (and you use the excuse that it was more acceptable). It's not acceptable in any generation, in any culture, in any situation to beat a child.

Someone has to be man or woman enough to say, regardless of how I was parented, how my child acts, or what my experience has been or whether or not my generation/culture deems it acceptable - it is not acceptable to me & I will not abuse my child(ren) in that way.

Be man or woman enough to end the violence!

TGFS

easter atonement theologies

thursday

is for friends,

honestly. OK, honestly betraying, honestly bad praying, honestly

take, eat,

this is my body

(atonement in community)

friday,

is for Passover,

liberation rescues us

crossing seascape, crossing sandscape

Kingdom coming

(atonement as liberator)

saturday

is for pain,

honestly. In, Darfur and in child abuse, God why have you

abandoned me, him, them

gone God

while innocents die

(atonement as crucified God)

Thank God for Sunday - Resurrection, new life & an invitation to partner in God's redemption strategy!

More than Personal Salvation

Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there

~ Depeche Mode

Remade recently by Johnny Cash & Marilyn Manson, Personal Jesus is a song originally by Depeche Mode. However, the thought process is one that dates back to the 19th century when revivalists like Charles Finney, D.L. Moody & Charles Fuller introduced the mercy seat, altar call & the invitation to accept a personal saviour.

Though I believe I recognize something of the intent, I see two issues with the invitation to accept a personal saviour:

1) Short sighting God's eternal purposes for humanity. Surely God has greater plans for humanity than just redeeming/saving individuals. Add to this the pressure of the eschaton and you miss out on the beauty of friendship & journeying together with someone respective of God's timing. Potential friends become potential kingdom projects and that's wrong. Have we forgotten to befriend someone for sheer companionship & enjoyment?

The first plays into the second:

2) Stunting the expansion of Jesus' Kingdom through individualistic ritual. If we focus on Jesus as a personal saviour we miss out on the deeper meaning of relationship as exemplified between Father & Son; and also, Father, Son & adopted sons & daughters (you & me). Salvation is meant to be an enjoyed corporate relationship among friends who share in Jesus life together while inviting others into that community!

I'm not saying Jesus doesn't want to redeem people. Nor am I saying evangelism is unimportant. Jesus does want to redeem & evangelism is important. However, God has so much more planned for the redeemed and it includes what He died for in the here & now! As well, when we focus on Jesus instead of evangelism, our methods & outlook will more accurately resemble the early church instead of stale religious obligation.

Cockburn

To be held in the heart of a friend is to be a king ~Bruce Cockburn

A great lyric.

I'm thinking of Leslie today & I feel like a king.

I hope you are held in the heart of a friend.

Think fondly & thankfully of those who love you today.

Mr. Deity

Thoughts

I've so many thoughts running through my head right now:

• Why is the message of salvation so much more readily received than Jesus message? I think because many in the church believes the message of salvation only cost Jesus something - not us. The message of Jesus Himself costs both Himself and us. There is no passivity. We join Jesus in His redeeming work - hard work. We'd rather have the salvation message and look for the blessings the church promises because we are now in. It's all about the cost & somewhere along the way we've cheapened Jesus story & sacrifice. We've misplaced the invitation.
• I feel Jesus speaking into my life - ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.
• Report cards today. I reminded each of my kids that it's not about the marks - I love 'em period. The marks were good just the same!
  
• I hope the Flyers don't botch this one up - they have to make the playoffs - please!
• My thoughts are with friends tonight after coffee this afternoon & sad news of relational difficulties.
• Porn - such a shame - youth deserve a chance.
• Shared some of my story today. Didn't realize how wounded I still am. I received some encouraging words. It sucks to have been the one to rip the bandage off - that's never fun. Maybe someday I'll throw up my account of how it all went down.
• Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution - still one of the greats.
• Mmmm, delicious cookie!
  

Ghaflah

I'm told that the greatest sin in the Muslim faith is:

Ghaflah (غفلة)
heedlessness, forgetfulness of God, indifference

That is quite honorable for them; shameful for me.

How often do I forget God?

How often do I not pay Him heed?

How often do I appear to live indifferently to the presence of God?

This may not be something that the onlooker may notice but God & I do. Today, this one hit me between the eyes.

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

(Romans 12:1-2 The Message)

Dan in Real Life

Great movie!
One of the best I've seen in a while.

Trivia

Easter Sunday is March 23rd

Why is Easter so early this year?

Easter is always the 1st Sunday after the 1st full moon after the Spring Equinox (which is March 20). The dating of Easter is based on the lunar calendar that Hebrew people used to identify Passover, which is why it moves around on our Roman calendar. Based on the above, Easter can actually be one day earlier (March 22nd) but that is pretty rare.

Here are the interesting facts.

This year is the earliest Easter most of us will ever see in our lifetime!

Only the most elderly of our population have ever seen it this early (95 years old or above!) And none of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier! Here are the facts:

1. The next time Easter will be this early (March 23rd) will be the year 2228 (220 years from now). The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you're 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!)

2. The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22nd will be in the year 2285 (277 years from now). The last time it was on March 22nd was 1818. So,no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than this year!

~Source Unknown

Home

Shifts

I've been asked to contribute to a discussion regarding youth ministry (more specifically addressing why youth are leaving the church & our denomination).

I've also been asked prior to the discussion to submit my vision for youth ministry. Below you will find some thoughts. I welcome your thoughts, additions and questions for clarification.

You can go here to fill out a survey that will help us along.

A Possible Vision for Youth Ministry:

1) A shift from youth pastor as church babysitter & social co-ordinator to missionary (from “in here” focused to “out there” focused).

2) A shift from short term bandage solutions to long term process (journey) requiring study of immediate context & culture as well as much prayer.

3) A shift from ‘I am an island’ mentality to embrace the larger movement of Jesus, transcending religious & denominational barriers and doctrinal differences (why reinvent – get on board with where Jesus’ Spirit is moving).

4) A shift in the way we measure success recognizing both the culture and the church are working against us. The culture because it believes church is for church people. The church because there may be less programs at the church for youth & the youth pastor may be spending less time at the church (this doesn’t go over well with some parents and church staff). Prepare for a lengthy process. (long term disciple making vs. short term attendance at programs/events with little or no fruit to show for it)

5) A shift from the youth pastor as the lone evangelist to teaching & equipping students to be missionaries too.

6) A shift from stale curriculum to cultural investigation & relevance.

7) A shift from the average 18 month life span as a youth pastor to longer stays that see a group of kids through Jr. High and/or High school.

8) A shift from large group focus to the few. From more, more, more (events, programs, kids getting saved) to scale things back to the few.

9) A shift from teaching using words to teaching by example. Inviting the youth into your home, running errands with you, etc. Letting them see how you live and how Jesus plays out in your real life.

10) A shift from the church and youth pastor as responsible for spiritual formation of youth to a greater emphasis & focus on home, family and parents/guardians as foremost responsible for spiritual formation of their youth with the church as a supplement.

I realize this is sketchy and I’m prepared to clarify any of these shifts for those inquiring. If nothing else, they represent good starting points for discussion.

That said, I don’t believe the mission of the church & subsequently youth ministry will ever be accomplished by just adding to the present structure. We need to scale things back to a foundation and begin again.

Organic

“An organic church is simply a church that is born out of spiritual life instead of constructed by human institutions and held together by religious programs. Organic churches are characterized by Spirit-led, open-participatory meetings and non-hierarchical leadership. This is in stark contrast to a clergy-led, institution driven church.” ~Frank Viola

The Black Crowes

Pagan Christianity?

Picked up a new book today. Visit Frank Viola's site here.

The teaser:

Have you ever wondered why we Christians do what we do for church every Sunday morning? Why do we "dress up" for church? Why does the pastor preach a sermon each week? Why do we have pews, steeples, choirs, and seminaries? This volume reveals the startling truth: most of what Christians do in present-day churches is not rooted in the New Testament, but in pagan culture and rituals developed long after the death of the apostles.

Now, go get the book!

Who Cares

Mike made a post about hearing Stephen Lewis & David Suzuki speak in Vancouver this past weekend.

In another post he says:

I'm tired of Stephen Lewis caring more about God's Children than do the People of God.

I'm tired of David Suzuki caring more about God's Creation than do the People of God.

Here was my comment:

I don't think it really matters where the caring comes from as long as there is care. Now ask me is it a shame that those who claim to be believers aren't modeling this care - definitely. I believe that's what God's judgment is reserved for - those who know better & have the means but don't care enough to act.

Here's a little more on my comment:

Instead of getting down on the lack of motivation by Christians to act Christian, why not celebrate the good no matter where or by whom it is expressed or what their beliefs are.

If 11 years of full time ministry have taught me anything it is run where God is moving, even if it means moving away from so called believers who should know better & act better but don't get it. Too much energy & emotion (supposedly all in the name of Jesus) has been expended trying to convince the crowd and they just will not (and likely may never) get it. If God is moving your spirit to some kind of action, I suggest you get on board with what He's doing - no matter its origin.

Post Secret

Skid Row

I pulled into the Delta to pick up Dave, who I hadn't seen in many, many years, and I notice these long haired guys hanging around a couple of limos. I say to Dave, "Are these guys a band?" He responds, "Yeah, Skid Row."

I took a look across the group - no Baz. Skid Row without Sebastian Bach simply is a group of long haired guys catching a limo to the airport.

So back to Dave Woodland...Leslie & I had breakfast with him on Friday morning. We hadn't seen him in about 15 years.

Dave & his wife Gloria were our camp directors & bosses way back in 1989 when Leslie & I started dating. Though it was just one summer together, they meant a lot to us & still do - good people.

Fergalicious

I'm Fergalicious (so delicious)

My body stay vicious

I be up in the gym just working on my fitness

Ironically I was hearing this song as I was reading these Rob Bell words:

You don't have to give yourself away to earn a man's love. You're better than that. You're already loved.

When you give too much of yourself away to quickly, when you show too much skin, you're not being true to yourself. When you dress to show us everything, then in some sense we have all shared in it, or at least been exposed to it. There is a mystery to you, infinite depth and endless complexity.

As the woman says in Song of Songs, "My own vineyard is mine to give." In the ancient Near East, a vineyard was a euphemism for sexuality. She is saying that she doesn't give herself to just anyone. She is fully in control of herself, and she is not cheap and she is not easy.

Your strength is a beautiful thing. And when you live in it, when you carry yourself with the honor and dignity that are yours, it forces the men around you to relate to you on more than just a flesh level.

You are worth dying for.

Being sexy is less about being so comfortable in your skin that you flaunt it in the face of others & more about loving the you that God loves and created.

Monster Jam

An afternoon out with the fam - a good time had by all!